*insert relevant title here*

Font is kinda big today cuz my eye hurts a little...

This might bore some of you out so you guys may X off here before you start complaining why I blog about thing totally unrelated to you.

Well, afew days ago, on the bus ride home with Xueli, my shepherd, and we talked about how learning from your peers starts by role-modelling. I mean, now I've rose to become a shepherd, I really need to be mindful of what I say and do. Cmon you all know actions speak louder than words right?

And actually I haven't changed. I still swear like nobody's bz like ****you and you mofo all these. And I guess if I do that, I won't be setting a good example to my sheeps..

Before I start on that lemme ask. Why do you do stuffs like what you do today or now. What made you changed - the way you talk, the actions you do, the way you eat your burger or whatsoever. I mean, it's all by looking at how someone behaves. Like you wanna do that to, or that movement really attracted you so you wanna "copy" them. Copying is nothing bad yknow except you overdo it and it becomes irritating..

THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT YAW.

So yeah, we're all organisms that are easily influenced by the society. Like why do you smoke? Or why you wanna put a tattoo? Or why you wanna take an iPhone? Why you wanna buy a dslr? Why you wanna dress up in this particular way too? Why do you talk like this?

And so yeah, back to the sheeps thing. I wanna be a good influence to them, and since influence makes a huge impact on people's lives, why not do it right?
That's why I think I should really stop swearing. I mean, it really eats abit of my conscience when I say the F word. LOL some might say, "waaa damn lame sia, still say F word. No balls say fuck uh"
Like seriously, I've made a decision to accept Christ in my life and this is the path I wanna go. To serve Him to my fullest and just be there if I am being called and also be so super blessed by Him.
Like my life really changed. I am so darn blessed I can't even stop to count them, and I never count because it's really overwhelming.

PS/ I really dislike it when people call me "Holy" if I start posting this kinda stuffs or just being a "christian-ish" on twitter, which I rarely do now. CMON, I'M JUST ME LAAAAAAA BRUHS.

And I know it myself that someone out there saved me like 2000 plus plus years ago and he doesn't even know me then till I was born born. Now that, is love. True love, and we are able to find salvation in Him.
So you see, I've came to this point of realization that once I've made a huge decision, I can never run away no matter how far it may be or to the extent of going over to another country, because wherever I may go, God is still God and He is my God. One and only.

And truth to be told, I haven't start any official shepherding, except talking to them and finding out more about their lives especially it's the hols now and everyone is just so occupied and even I am pretty busy myself too... *guilt ridden*

But really, peer-shepherding ain't easy at all sometimes. I mean, you know someone for 4 years and suddenly she becomes your mentor? I wonder if there are thoughts like, "Why should I listen to you?" I mean like you know someone for 4 years and she may seem really clumsy or oblivious to surroundings or being such a badass, suddenly has to teach you stuffs related to the Bible?

WHAT IN THE PORKWORLD IS BACONS?!

So yeah, I won't fail anyone and continue to gain some more knowledge about the word! And this is the last time I'll swear, because accepting Christ was the...

*oops* I think I rotted a little more inside.

And the thing is why I turned back to saying the F word, it's because I don't wanna sound vulnerable to others. I wanna be strong too okay? And in the past I didn't know how I could be strong like through actions so I had to use it, to make sure I had a stand, a say, and not get bullied or teased or to make myself like more ....... Ugh you know the word luh, insert it yourself.

It's like you can't help but think about what others' might be thinking about you. Like, "why she doesn't swear sia," or "weakling"

I am not going to allow myself to be categorized in any of those because I know I never wanna turn back again. Everyday is a new day for me to change for the better and be a true blue Woman of God. I just wanna be wholeheartedly faithful and yeah, be a badass sometimes.

LIKE CMON, WHAT'S LIFE WITHOUT SOME BADASS BITCHY SHIZZ HEHEHEHEHEEHHEHEHEH

Okay so the point is, I am going to start to role-model, hopefully through that my 2 sheeps are able to mature with me and also I am able to learn from them too! Life's really unexpected yknow? ;)
But gimme some time to sort out my thinkings AGAIN cuz I'm a very indecisive person and my thoughts run wild at home just like sweetiepie Niall!

And this

And I believe, that if my heart is set for something I've got to try to achieve it!

Okay I guess that's all bout that.

ANYWAY.................

I just reached home like prolly 2 hours ago and the first newsfeed I saw on my fb was..

LIKE WHUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?! That's just 3 days before my sexy seventeenth!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LITERALLY LIKE OMG PLEASE COME PLEASE COME AND IT'LL PROLLY BE ONE OF THE BEST GIFT EVER FOR A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL. I MEAN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I love 1D. I swear (other than Justin Bieber, Boys Like Girls, etc.) No other bands made me happy like solely the thought of them makes me happy, really. And I hate to admit it here but I always imagine meeting them and what to say etc. OMGGGGGGGGG I CAN DIE HAPPY IF THEY COME HA HA.

I hope they are really coming like really, cuz I have already thought of the words I wanna put on the banner, and what to wear - obviously the official Singapore's 1D fan tee! And like just be crazy over them like a normal fangirl. *sigh* (happy sigh from all the spazzing)

And I absolutely love spazzing with Julia over 1D, like we sing and she tells me the funny stuffs they did and I would mention her in tweets whenever I see a funny picture.

Best is, if they have a meet and greet and HOPEFULLY THEY CAN GIVE ME HUGS, AND POLAROIDS AND WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I might faint on the spot!

So dear god, I hope that something special will happen on this seventeenth birthday of mine be it anything cuz I will still love you and love whoever that is going to make me happy. WAHAHAHAHA

So I'm ending off this horribly long post with

I mean, who gets tired of them.
Okay CIAO.