Well, if there's anyone who needs advice if you should go jc/poly maybe I could be of some help from my experience? Anyway, I must say aside from my friends in jc, it was so hard for me. Before entering jc, I told myself, I must do well. Everyday come back, revise, do tutorials on time. WHAT BULLCRAP AND WHO AM I KIDDING.
I am not suited for this kinda lifestyle. I cannot bring myself to study almost everyday. I don't even have good foundations to begin with. But at least I tried. Not promos. But at least I tried to make myself believe I could actually gain something and hold onto what I had in there. But NAH. I know myself best. This is not for me. I succumb to stress to easily. It's not easy. Surviving in jc. Friends are super impt. SUPER DUPER WUPER RUPER IMPORTANT. They are the ones going through every single shit with you. I am so blessed to be in a clique that helps each other, complement each other in weaknesses and strengths. But sorry babes, I left halfway :(
Someone told me. No matter how hard poly life may feel in the future, do not look back and compare to jc life because it's really two different things. Now a second chance has been given to me, I must seize it. But truth to be told, I'm scared of what the future may bring. I'm not even decisive of the courses I'm sure I wanna be in next year. I know I've got time to think now but sometimes the insecurities within me just eats me up.
But ah, thank god for all my supportive friends and family members. Honestly, when I was still studying earlier this year, I swear life has hard. Quarrels after quarrels after quarrels. Especially within the family. I didn't wanna tell anyone about all the thoughts in my head cuz it would just add onto their burden. I just ranted on twitter, hoping for some attention. (Every human being craves for somebody to love & care for them) but that's all on-the-surface thing.
I really felt so wronged about everything. And I know I should've relied on god more and yet I felt like I was being ignored by him and problems kept arising. But then it took a really huge turn. At first I felt that 2012 was the worst year I ever had so far but not anymore! My life has taken such a huge turn that now I feel I'm so blessed indeed. I have never felt like this in a long time. My parents are giving me more freedom (although still kinda strict sometimes) and I am able to spend more time with my grandparents and aunt.
My aunt. I used to say such nasty and mean things to her, even made her cry, and yet, she is able to forgive and forget so easily. I am so thankful for her, she's like my second mum :') oh god I'm getting all emotional...
KKKKKKKK I must have bored you guys out. But all I wanna say is that I am so grateful for everything that has happened in my life so far. The worst part of the year has passed and I'm never looking back again. I wanna look ahead into the future. I wanna be strong and grab opportunities that come knocking on my door. Yes, I can do it!
Since I've been blessed so much, I shall list down afew things that I'm grateful for:
My r/s with family has improved
iphone 4s from my mum yay!
my eyecandy in sch finally talked to me and followed me on twitter WOOHOO
Boomz (II) they mean so much to me
r/s with my bff improved!
eye infection gone, finally able to wear contacts again
free F1 tix > sitting the flyer for the first time and it's free > maroon 5 live
BIG BANG CONCERTS TWO DAYS IN A ROW OMGGGGG
korean class
gotten closer to yingjie aka jaelynn
krajar outings and meetups
strictly pancakes with the shepherd, so thankful for her really
lg mates
people that randomly text me saying they miss me :')
online shopping and mum's paying ^^
etc etc.
I love my life now. Hoping that my interview on monday night will go smoothly and I can't wait for the things/events that are gonna come my way! Sorry for the extremely long post!
oh yeah you don't wanna miss out how I look like now right?
I think I slimmed down? :) Morning exercise does help! 4km walk at 6.30, no joke!
xx
